The Downward Spiral

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Fact or fiction??? discover or invent???

All the people in the pic are undergrads. Whether you believe or not is up to you.
Take this shaunie!!!!!

Taken from my master amstrad:

10 STEPS SINGLEGUY'S GUIDE TO COUPLEDOM :

1) For the love of all things holy and good, please do not slobber all over each other when in the company of friends. All this does is make everyone spending time with you incredibly skeeved out and uncomfortable. We’re all well-aware of the fact that you two like each other; otherwise you wouldn’t be dating. There is absolutely no need to share it with the entire world, insecurity issues notwithstanding.

2) In the same vein as rule 1, NO groping of each other in public. Both rule 1 and 2 are subject to lax enforcement as the night wears on and all members of the group become increasingly intoxicated, but please, no ass-grabbing within the first few drinks of the evening.

3) Don’t talk to me about your significant other. Ever. I do not care. Serious.

4) If you persist in breaking rule 3 I will have no choice but to rip your finger off and shove your engagement ring down your wherever you want.

5) Stay away from the bar. Do whatever it is you couples engage in - overpay for dinner, rent a movie. If you must go to the bar, do not get pissed when guys are hitting on your girlfriend. In the same vein, there is nothing worse than chatting up a cute girl only to find out she's unavailable, so if you're having a "girl's night out," please be fully prepared to cheat.

6) If you are an ex-girlfriend of mine, I definitely don’t want to hear about how happy you are with your new boyfriend. There is no chance your new man is anywhere near as kick-ass a boyfriend as I was, so the mere thought of him trying to please you is both laughable and cringe-inducing.

7) The least you can do for your single friends is try to set them up with a friend of yours. How can we possibly be happy for you if we’re busy wallowing in our own misery?

8) If you are a female friend of mine and we have some sort of history but you are presently unavailable, due to some unholy reasons, you are still required to hook up with me when we’re drunk.

9) Additionally, if you are a female friend of mine and you are dating someone, the only reason I still bother talking to you is the hope that the two of you will break up and I will get in your pants.

10) Then again, the same could be said for my single female friends as well.

Meant to piss people off. Not happy? Too bad then. You just gotta suck on it!

Also taken from a friend's blog. He recently went into seclusion to do a research on undergrads. Allow me to present his finding:"The Levels of Understanding", as applied to the context of a undergraduate.

Those who know
Chances are that you're aren't local. And don't have a life. Nor a boyfriend / girlfriend. I still hate you nonetheless for skewing the bell curve all by yourself.Special note : This category often contains asswipes who claim they don't study at all while they mug behind your back every single day. Usually the first to inform you that half the answers you wrote down in that last paper are wrong. Upon getting their stellar results, they *ALWAYS* pretend to be surprised. Only God knows who the hell they're trying to impress.

Those who know what they don't know
These are the normal people, those with lives and all that. They're normal because NO ONE normal could ever manage to finish studying every single topic of every single subject.

Those who don't know what they know
These are the people you never knew were in your tutorial class until you find them sitting beside you in the exam hall. They turn up hoping for a fluke passing grade, and often get it too.

Those who don't know what they don't know
The people who are fucking screwed. People often wonder how the hell they got to varsity in the first place.

Interesting? You tell me.

On a lighter note, let me tell you some amazing facts about life that you even think you might have already know. Know or don't know??

1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
2. Alfred Hitchcock didn't have a bellybutton.
3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.
4. People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
5. When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop even your heart!
6. Only seven ( 7 ) per cent of the population are lefties.
7. Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until they are 2-6 yrs. old.
8. The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
9. The toothbrush was invented in 1498.
10. The average housefly lives for one month.
11. A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
12. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute.
13. Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
14. Most of us have eaten a spider in our sleep.
15. The REAL reason ostriches stick their head in the sand is to search for water.
16. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and the parrot.
17. Michael Jackson owns the rights to the South Carolina State anthem.
18. In most television commercials advertising milk, a mixture of white paint and a little thinner is used in place of the milk.
19. Prince Charles and Prince William NEVER travel on the same airplane just in case there is a crash.
20. The first Harley Davidson motorcycle built in 1903 used a tomato can for a carburetor.
21. Most hospitals make money by selling the umbilical cords cut from women who give birth. They are reused in vein transplant surgery.
22. If coloring weren't added to Coca-Cola, it would be green.

All the above mentioned are true. Nothing but the truth.

Didn't know I was such an idol to some people. Firstly they put my pics in their blogs and secondly I discover my own set of clones in rizon. Now now kids, I know you guys love me. But some things just can't be copied. It's ok I know I am the GREAT ONE. You can start by bowing to me and lick my toenails for me.

Nothing to update about my life, probably cuz my life now revolves around sleeping, eating, studying and sun tanning. As SOMEONE pointed out, my life pattern and the things I do and say are so predictable. Why? Starting to turn into my personal fortune teller? Blah.

Want some more? Try this: go to google, type in 'failure' in the search string.
Click on I'm feeling lucky. See what you get. After reading the article, I'm pretty sure you won't feel that your life is that fucked up anymore.

Before I go, I leave you with this phrase from one of my fav actors, William Petersen:
Ambition is the last refuge of failure.

p.s. I wish I could be everything you ever wanted.

by p0rn5tar
11/13/2005 02:54:00 AM
0 smokers

0 smokers: