The Downward Spiral

Saturday, November 26, 2005

My thoughts

Blah, who would thought this would happen.
Wasn't suppose after exams to be a happy thing? A simple dinner with your family. But all it takes is some random hurtful statements thrown at you. I never thought of home as my hotel at all. But what you expect me to do? I did accompany you guys for dinner. Accompany you all watched tv, and chatted with you all. What do you expect of me. I already had enought problems. And I thought you guys, of all people should know me best. After all I've been your son for the past 24 years. Some how ,there were certain things that we couldn't see eye to eye. But for heaven's sake, could you not raise your voice at me? Treat me like some 12 year old kid. I know in your eyes I will always be a child, but then I've grown up. I'm not saying that I am right in everyway, but perhaps you guys could use seom thinking when talking to me. Hurtful comments are soem things that I really cannot tolerate. Someone told me family quarrels are common, and if you don't quarrel with your family, then you quarrel with who? It's the times where you don't have your family around that it makes you misses them.
Sometime I wonder what is it like to have a real kin borhter or sister. Would it be so better that you are not always the focus of attention. Well, but sometimes I do crave for attention. It just that perhaps as I grown older, I need different kind of opinions from you all. And I hope that you 2 can view it from my perspective. I kinda of regret rushing back to hall, giving lame excuses that I need to go back do something. I know you 2 are sad from the look in your eyes. But I reallly can't stand it. Haven gone back in such a long time, and the last thing I need is a quarrel the moment I get back.
Yan Jang said that just fuck it lah...why bother with women. Perhaps I am that emotional sort. Perhaps I am not firm with my decisions. Just like he said, don't tell yourself what-ifs. Cuz' things had already happened. Life's made out of what you made out of your decisions. Oh man I am talking rubbish. this is so unlike me. Should not have beared all. But thats the problem rite? You wouldn't even want to tell me what's on your mind. You leave me standing on the voidness of all the world. What's going on now anyway? If this a game to you, well you have won. I'm sick and tired of all hese nonsensical bullshit that I've been hearing. Life's couldn't be more fucked up than it is so now.

Bring on the vodka, 7-up, paracetamol and chlorpheniramine.
Destroy my body if you must.
Wonder how long I can take all these.

9 done, 4 goned, 15 cannot, 12 more!!!!!!
SO who wanna play with me????

by p0rn5tar
11/26/2005 03:09:00 AM
0 smokers

0 smokers: