The Downward Spiral

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

can i have more time?

Less than 1 month from exams and i haven even started my revision. Buried under tons of assignments and the famous Final-Year-Pain aka Fuck-You-Project aka Final Year Project.

Stayed up the whole night cracking my brains over the gaming assignment has totally rendered me into and official walking zombie. And killing my brain cells with fags has left me gasping for fresh air. The nose's sort of block and I can feel the fever coming. I'm a total wreck at this point that it's not even funny.

Aside from all the grumbling, my better half has gotten the better of me to come up with all sorts of nonsence for you porn watchers out there. Here goes...

30 things you learn from porn:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy cummers.
11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
30. Dorky guys never have to beg.

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika Amerika

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika Amerika

Wenn getanzt wird will ich führen
Auch wenn ihr euch alleine dreht
Lasst euch ein wenig kontrollieren
Ich zeige euch wie's richtig geht

Wir bilden einen lieben Reigen
Die Freiheit spielt auf allen Geigen
Musik kommt aus dem Weißen Haus
Und vor Paris steht Mickey Mouse

We're all living in Amerika
Amerika ist wunderbar
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika Amerika

Ich kenne Schritte die sehr nützen
Und werde euch vor Fehltritt schützen
Und wer nicht tanzen will am Schluss
Weiss noch nicht dass er tanzen muss

Wir bilden einen lieben Reigen
Ich werde euch die Richtung zeigen
Nach Afrika kommt Santa Claus
Und vor Paris steht Mickey Mouse

We're all living in Amerika
Coca Cola Wonderbra
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika Amerika

This is not a love song
This is not a love song
I don't sing my mother tongue
No, this is not a love song

We're all living in Amerika
Coca Cola Sometimes war
We're all living in Amerika
Amerika Amerika

Amerika - Rammstein

by p0rn5tar
10/25/2006 08:13:00 AM
0 smokers

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